New Instance, "The Bar"

[wildcard]

In Patch 2.4.3, Blizzard secretly introduced a new instance called "The Bar". It has 4 bosses, one of which is optional. It is a 5 man instance, and requires a specific raid setup, and specific gear requirements. Here is the guide below.

Written by Castalia of Eldre'Thalas, originally on the forums of "The Astral Order" found at www.astralorder.com
Feel free to repost this anywhere, just leave this line, and the above line intact and unmodified

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Pre-Raid Setup (Gear Required)
1 Pair of slightly faded blue jeans, pressed, no wrinkles nub
1 "Wife Beater" Undershirt, black
1 Full button short sleeve shirt, black, with thin green vertical stripe pattern if you're considered "Over weight". Shirt should be Un-tucked, and pressed.
1 Full button short sleeve shirt, black, no pattern, or very unnoticeable vertical stripe, dark Grey for example. Shirt should be Un-tucked, and pressed.
1 Silver necklace, thick chain, but nothing "G-Unit"
1 Watch, not a Timex, spend some money on a good non-digital watch
1 Pair of black socks, no patterns
1 Pair of black leather dress shoes, but nothing too dressy, recommend "Rockport Sport" or "Hushpuppy" brand shoes, found at any shoe store.

Consumables Needed:
50 to 100 gold
6 Pack of favourite Import Beer, don't get the cheapest on sale shit at the store.

Raid Setup:
This is a 5 man raid setup, no more, no less. You will require the following classes of people.

1 DD - Designated Distracter
1 HF - Hot Female, can be a friend, or ex, as you are not pursuing this person
1 UF - Ugly Female, same restrictions as "HF".
1 FG - Fat Guy, if this is you, see next person.
1 HG - Hot guy, if this is you, see previous person.

Phase 1:
Phase 1 is all about preparation. This is an agro free phase. If you regularly drink and go out with friends, drink the 6 pack of beer, temperature as cold as you can get it, over a nice steak dinner. A steak is not a hamburger, or Chicken McNuggets, or nothing. Steak is steak, and the reason you have it is so you are full and while you are drinking excessively at the bar, your body is working on digesting the steak, and liquor, at the same time. This is proven to actually slow the intake of liquor, so you can make it through until last call, without slowing down the drinking. If however, you don't drink regularly; take the beer you bought slow, 1 or 2 an hour, and start early around 7-8pm.

Side Note: The whole reason behind "Pre-Drinking", was not to save money at the bar, as is commonly used now, it is to prep the body for higher intakes if liquor at the bar. *End Side Note*

If you have never been to a bar before, here are a few pointers for you, so you don't look like a noob.

• Don't be fooled by the hot chicks with trays of shots, that's a rip off, and while you might think if you spend enough money on her she will sleep with you, she won't. Remember, she works there, and is Immune to attacks and abilities of the "hitting on" class.


• If a girl asks you to buy her a drink, don't just pull out your wallet, because in 2 minutes, she'll be gone and you're out $5. Instead, throw her off guard and ask her "Why should I buy you a drink"? If she walks away, good riddance. If she says something along the lines of "because I'm hot" or says nothing and gives you some physical contact such as a hug, she's just using you. Why do I know this? Because I have many female friends, who go to the bar with no money, yet somehow end up loaded at the end of the night, with 4 numbers from guys she will never call.


• Lastly, and most importantly, remember this: If at first you don't succeed, try again, but with someone different. If you think you have an honest shot at getting some hot and sticky, follow the raid plan below, but if you're shot down, cut your losses, and move on.

Boss 1 – The Bouncer
You are a tank, and your job is to get agro, while your raid takes care of the adds. As a tank, your job is to get agro, and to do this, you need to make a lot of noise, but nothing too crazy, don't burn your long timers, yet. Getting into the bar can be easy, just don't agro the mob near the entrance called 'Bouncer'.

Bouncer Abilities

• Cleave – Causes a small amount of damage, and knocks you and your group out of the bar. The ability adds the debuff "Kicked Out" to you.


• Kicked Out – Undispellable debuff that causes you to be unable to zone in to the instance for 24 hours.


• Throw Out – Ability used if you are found at the bar after normal operating hours, or you caused the boss "Bartender" to use her "Call for Help" ability. This causes a high amount of damage.

This boss is one you do not fight. He is neutral to you when you zone into the bar, and will attack you if you attack him first. He is similar to "Brutallus" in Sunwell Plateau, with his insane amount of hit points and hard hitting abilities. Do not attempt to 5-man him, it is impossible. Instead, give him your ID, do not attempt to give him your gold, and move along.

Once past that mob, survey the area, and remember where the important areas in the bar are: The Washroom, The Patio/Smoking Section, The Main Bar, and the alternate exit. Don't be a fool and run over to the optional boss called "The DJ" and agro him by requesting songs. He is busy, and chances are, he will play the song you want to hear sometime throughout the night. Don't go to the booty bar (the scantily clad chick with a tub of ice and beer bottles) or the VIP bar and buy drinks there because the main bar is too busy. Under geared people do this, and wipe, and a wipe means you spend more of your hard earned gold. Instead, be patient, and wait at the main bar. This is where you will encounter the 2nd boss of "The Bar", called "The Bartender".

Boss 2 – The Bartender
Similar to the first boss, this boss is also neutral to you, and will attack you if you attack first. Don't attempt to attack this boss. She has very low hit points, but has extremely powerful abilities which will defeat you and your group, almost instantly. Don't taunt the bartender with your agro gaining ability called "Flag down with a $20", it's rude and won't get you service. She knows you're there; she will get to you as soon as she can.

Once you have bartender agro, the good kind, be ready with your ability called "Order a Drink". In case you didn't notice, she has a few abilities:

• Charge – Instant cast, no cool down charge. Ability used after each drink order is complete.


• Impatient – Passive ability, always active. Counter by using your ability called "Order a Drink" as soon as you are afflicted by 'Charge'.


• Call For Help – Consider this an enrage timer. If ability is used, the bartender marks you with a "Hunters mark" type ability, which can't be dispelled while in the bar. This ability agros 3 or more Bouncers on you. See above for Bouncer abilities.

The Bartender is the 2nd boss of "The Bar", but unlike every other boss encounter in the game, you don't defeat her and take loot. Instead, she exchanges potions to be used for the next (and final) boss fight in the instance. She will charge you anywhere for 4 to 10 gold for a drink, usually in limited supply.

Trash mobs after the 2nd boss are where things start to get extremely hard. Up to this point, you were pretty much soloing the instance, but now is where you need your group members to help defeat the final boss of the instance called "The Hot Chick". This boss is a tricky one, with an enrage timer which goes off at random intervals, many times without notice or without any previous interaction. She has a few abilities which she comes into the bar with, hereby described in phases. Also, unlike other boss fights in the game, this boss has a reputation that you gain while engaged in combat with the boss. You are hated when you first engage, and gain reputation slowly with each minute you are in combat. If you succeed in kiting the final boss back to the player housing area, you will be honoured. If you further succeed with your final finishing move, you may become exalted or hated again.

Final Boss – Phase 1
This part of the fight is the initial agro gaining fight. The boss, surrounded by 4 members, is similar to the final 2 bosses in Black Temple. You have to "defeat" 4 members before getting to the final boss, similar to The Illidari Council. You, your DD and your HF are to confront the council, by standing near them, but don't agro. Send your DD in there to distract them with something funny, but be sure to not agro "The Hot Chick". At this point, you are to face the hot chick and make eye contact. Target her and use your ability called "Smile". This will gain a bit of agro. Next, target your HF and whisper something to her, anything, her of course having the knowledge that the whisper is a mere distraction. Do not de-target the boss, and keep your focus on the boss. This is a small mind game you are playing on the boss, in that, she believes you whispered something to your HF about her, when really you didn't. Your DD might be out of mana by this time, so get him out of there. Make sure your DD has some +hit, because if the friends resist his charm, it's a wipe.

Final Boss – Phase 2
By now, agro has been built with "The Hot Chick", and your DD has distracted her group of friends, allowing you to move in and start melee damage, also known as "dancing". Make sure to consume your potions during phase 2, as it is the longest phase and encounter of the instance. If you have extra potions, share with the boss, to help gain reputation. Remember however, the potions you consume have a debuff called "Drunkeness" which, although causes no damage, it stacks and becomes more lethal. Also, high stacks of this debuff cause memory loss and a 2nd debuff called "Beer Goggles" which cause you to think non-bosses are friendly when really they aren't, or cause reputation loosing mobs to agro on you, aka "Fat Chicks".
If you require a small break to regen mana or rest, open your map, and head towards the patio or smoking section. Attempt to kite the boss, but not her adds. Successful kiting will allow you to further your reputation with the boss, and allows high percentage of legendary loot to drop, also known as "Sex".

Final Boss – Final Phase
This is possibly the hardest phase of the fight, and allows only a short period of time to complete it in, or else her friends enrage and wipe your group. You have about 5 minutes after last call is called, to separate her from her group, and get her on a gryphon with you, also known as a "taxi". If her friends manage to enrage, and take agro from the tank (you), wipe the group, as there is no wipe recovery. If you are successful in kiting her away from her friends without enraging them, take her home or to her place, and proceed into the after-raid events, found in other guides.



I hope this guide has helped some of you wow players. This instance also has a very unique feature depending on which faction you play on, male or female. This guide was written as if you are part of the male faction. If you are part of the female faction, your guide is much simpler.

• To bypass the first boss, activate your racial ability called "Show Cleavage".


• To bypass the second boss, activate your other racial ability called "Get some guy to buy you a drink".


• And lastly, to get the final boss, walk up to him and activate your one and only non-racial ability called "Grind your ass against his twisting nether", and your reputation will go from neutral to exalted in about 4.3 seconds.

[Capuloclavo]

As part of a previous raiding guild..  "WVU"   Todd, Pat, and I were epic at running this instance.  In fact, we were rated one of the best guilds in the country based on this instance.

[lizz]

ok that is funny as hell!!  ;D and very weird that is so acurate to true life that it's scary lol that defenitly took alot of time and effort to write all that shit!

[Kotodama]

As part of a previous raiding guild..  "WVU"   Todd, Pat, and I were epic at running this instance.  In fact, we were rated one of the best guilds in the country based on this instance.

That's only because you all thought you were playing female characters.

[Vitandus]

As part of a previous raiding guild..  "WVU"   Todd, Pat, and I were epic at running this instance.  In fact, we were rated one of the best guilds in the country based on this instance.

That's only because you all thought you were playing female characters.

It's a good thing we're older, wiser, and calmer. Back then, a comment like that would have gotten you rolled down a hill trapped inside a portajohn or maybe hung off the Star City Bridge until you cried.

[Kotodama]

Sadly I'm still young enough to do crazy things like that to people.

[Capuloclavo]

That's only because you all thought you were playing female characters.

It's a good thing we're older, wiser, and calmer. Back then, a comment like that would have gotten you rolled down a hill trapped inside a portajohn or maybe hung off the Star City Bridge until you cried.

No kidding.  I still may drive to your house and piss on your front porch, but I'm old enough to know that I shouldn't follow it up with a mason jar full of kerosene and a match.

[Capuloclavo]

No kidding.  I still may drive to your house and piss on your front porch, but I'm old enough to know that I shouldn't follow it up with a mason jar full of kerosene and a match.

But don't worry, we don't do that to friends... so I'll just have to steal your beer stash...

[Carmencita]

IS THIS TRUE??!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o