HDL

Remember the first time you ever made love to a woman?  Remember that?  The way she looked at you; the breathless excitement?  The way you felt?  Wanting to do everything exactly right so she didn't think you were a useless tool; a lousy lay; not worth shit in the sack?

Imagine if your approach to the sweet horizontal dance of desire was this instead:

"I wonder how far back into her vagina I can ram my penis.  I bet I can get way deeper than the last guy did!"   

Now imagine if you had to stop in the middle and ask her to let you measure how far in you had managed to penetrate at that moment in time.

"Hold still, I need to measure.  John Doe over there tells me he's in 7 inches and I'll bet I'm in 7.2 inches."

Realistically, it won't matter to her how deep you go.  If you pound away with the only intent being that you tap further back than the other guy, you're a lousy fucking lay.  She won't be happy, because you're not worried about how you're making her feel; you're just concerned with the number.

Bear with me here.

When you're in a party in WoW, and you constantly shoot for, and are most concerned with being, the one with the most DPS, highest damage, etc.  You're a selfish player. 

If you can't listen to the needs of the other party members, ask when you should pour on the DPS, when to back off, when to pull out one of your class specific 'tricks'...  Eventually you'll learn what you need to do by gauging the other members.  Keep pulling aggro off the tank?  Back off.   Having problems staying alive?  You need to stop drawing aggro and stop taking so much damage.  Are the mobs taking too long to kill?  Start pouring out the DPS/Damage.   

So, yes, WoW parties are like sex with a woman.  She/they want you to know when to go full bore, know when to back off and take it easy; and you should be paying attention!  If you don't know what she wants, ask!  Guys that ask get invited back at least once.  Guys that learn how to please get invited to move in. 

Guys that don't listen?  They end up playing with themselves.

  Also, never post when drunk.



.....now that I'm sober, I guess the short version should have been.  "In any relationship, don't be a shit or you'll be a lonely shit."

Good stuff, actually. Very true.

WoW Web Stats is the raiding tool of choice. Recount is good for raid wipes to see what happened, though.  Both in UP and in Infamous/Asylum, the official policy was to use meters for evaluating performance, but with an eye for assigned roles, etc. Meters have a place for improvement, though, especially in raiding. WWS is a godsend in that respect.

  I guess I need to concede that for all of you hard-core raiders, meters do help you fine tune your sense of timing and party integration.  Like you said though, with an eye to assigned roles.

In the spirit of my previous post.  I should say that meters are a tool to be used to get the job done, like my johnson.  If I stop during sex every 2 minutes to pull it out and admire it, (or so I can compare it with somebody else's),  I'll get a punch in the jaw and 'booted from the party'.

There's a party? What the hell kind of parties do you and the wife go to?

Have you ever heard of DP?

....maybe I should modify that and change 'booted from the party'  to  "disconnected from the server" 

Quote from: [ES] Capuloclavo on Tue, 2008-04-22 : 21:51
....maybe I should modify that and change 'booted from the party'  to  "disconnected from the server" 

Instead of "booted from the party" use "parted from the booty". :)

Oh, and I'm stealing your post for our raid forum over in DoL.  I shall give you proper credit.

W00T!  I'll be famous

Bouncing this one to the top for the newer HDL members.

It's one thing to look at stats and say, "Jesus, what the hell happened to Retribution Paladins and Arms Warriors with that patch!?!?" It's another to spam them non-stop to show how über you are. The same goes for healing and damage taken.

A raid is a team effort. Yes, I will watch the meters and do some analysis, but the goal is to coach/gear/adjust as needed for guild success. It is not a contest.

Bump.

Last night we had people aiming only to top the meters. This is blatantly obvious when players are not switching to adds, not moving out of fire to get that last spell off, and staying focused on spamming spells on the boss. When your goal in a raid is simply to brag about meters and not on guild success, then you should not share in the spoils. Moving forward, I will not reward any loot to a player exhibiting this behavior.

I had a couple of players send me tells asking if this post was aimed at them. I didn't answer since you already know the answer. If the raid leader said switch to adds and you didn't, or you stood in an Infernal Eruption of Legion Flame just so you would not have to move, then yes, this was aimed at you.

Additional note - standing in fire and then yelling for a battle rez annoys me.

Fuck, we have people playing like that again?  Too bad in WoW we can't gank members of our own team like we can in Left 4 Dead.  I imagine some folks might be wandering around with a chunk of lead in their asses... or at least a fucking hatchet in their backs...    This post should be locked at the top for all time, so everyone can see how we feel about people using the damage meters to compensate for whatever failings they have in life.   
Listen the fuck up, shut the fuck up, and follow the fucking orders you're given.

pro tip : hunters dont have to move or pay attention in 90% of fights in wow.  I.E. wanna be selfish roll a hunter, thats why i did :)

Quote from: Vitandus on Mon, 2009-09-14 : 16:11
Moving forward, I will not reward any loot to a player exhibiting this behavior.

It seems people don't learn, so I will call them out publicly.